Living Assertively

One of the most cherished aspects of living as a blind woman that I hope to always hold close to my heart is the partnership I have had with my now retired guide dog, Denver. God willing, I pray that when I am old, I will always remember the connection I felt when walking as a team with him. I'll try to explain a small peace of that here and let's see where it goes from there.

As I write this, I'm finding it difficult as it is a piece of my life that I hold and cherish at a special level.

An aspect that I love and respect about him is his assertiveness in which he went about his work. This would ultimately feed into how we grew and formed into a team, ideally, an assertive team. When I initiated the "Forward" command, the pull forward in the harness that I felt in my left hand, meant that Denver was engaged in a path forward. He felt strong and confident in each step we took together. Our relationship was more than just the directional motions we made together, it was also about how he was assertive in communicating danger like an oncoming car or something that would have ultimately led to harm for me and him both. He was never fearful in all the travels we made together. So when he would use his body to back up in order to avoid a car or confidently refuse a command I gave, I knew he was being assertive in his decisions. And even on a lighter note, he is always assertive in communicating his desires to eat my food which can include the grilled pork chop I made for tonight's dinner. Oh, and believe me, I was quite assertive in refusing his requests for my dinner! After all, I was the one who bought it, prepared it, and grilled it!

So when he began to lose that assertiveness I had come to trust in for the past 9 years, I knew deeply that it was now time for me to make an assertive decision to retire him.

Ok, so what's all of this about? When Denver and I were working well as a team, we both were assertive and confident. We both had an inner security built on a foundation of clearly communicating direction, thought, action, intent, and desire. So what happens when we choose to live or not live assertively? Now for Denver, manipulation can come in the form of using his sad puppy eyes or a well-timed whimper to get what he wants. But thinking more broadly, as a human who is increasingly more adept at a wider range of behaviors, living without assertiveness has led to sin that meant manipulation, games, and passive-aggressive actions towards people and relationships that were ultimately damaged or even lost due to those actions that I consciously or unconsciously made

From "Speaking the Truth in Love" is says "your growing assertiveness allows a new sense of inner security-- you know you can prayerfully, deliberately, and carefully consider options, make decisions, and behave respectfully toward yourself and others without ever resorting to games or manipulation. "

For now, this has been sitting with me. How many times did my passive aggressiveness, hurt others? How many times without realizing it, did I revert back to not fully or even prayerfully consider options other than what was easy?

Thankfully, that passage above says "your growing assertiveness," as it allows for a process of increasing the level of assertiveness and maturity that we receive as we continue to live out each day with God. This is an area I think God may have to do an immense level of work in my heart and I pray that each step and day I am blessed with will allow for opportunities to live out an assertive Christian life.

Oh and Denver? Yeah, he's still living assertively, sleeping when ever he chooses, passing gas when ever he chooses, and making his food requests clear to me and any other sympathetic soul that is nearby.