It Comes at a Cost
With all of the holidays for left handers, only children, and women named Kate, there seems to be a holiday or commemorative event each day, week, or month that can go easily unnoticed. Prior to starting the journey to adoption, I knew that November was Native American Heritage Month and the start into most popular faith-based holidays. But this year is different. Now that I am fully engaged in an adoption, this month has become incredibly more significant. There is so much more than the warm thoughts associated with offering a home to a child in need, there are some nuts and bolts to how to make that sentiment a reality that punctuates the need for a raised awareness for making adoption a viable option for both birth parents and prospective families. There is the initial step of submitting an application, undergoing various state and federal screenings, a home study, and depending on an agency, further interviews with doctors, references, and community professionals. At this point, I have completed my home study and have been certified and approved as a hopeful adoptive parent. Phew! Can I get an Amen!
There are a few avenues to adoption; international and domestic coordinated by either a public, private, or independent consultant/lawyer. There are advantages and unique challenges with each one of these choices and it is a deeply personal decision on which one a family chooses. For me, I chose domestic infant adoption through a private agency. It was important to me that an agency offer extensive support for the birth parents regardless of whether they choose to have an adoption plan, they choose to parent themselves, or seek other options. Support for birth families can be offering prenatal care, assisting with living expenses, counseling, and transportation. For adoptive families support is offering a supportive network of other families, counseling, legal support, and other resources. My ultimate hope was to have an agency that took a holistic approach to seeing a birth and adoptive family through the whole process. I think I have found that in the agency I have chosen, but it does come with a price. And that’s where awareness comes in. Most people, when asked, have a positive association with adoption. But when asked what the barriers are, generally the first barrier to pursuing adoption is financial. Without getting overly specific, a domestic infant adoption can cost between $19,000 - $35,000, essentially the cost of a car. There are some zero-interest loans that are offered, but tend to favor married couples. There are some foundations that offer a crowd-funding platform for raising money for adoption. But after taking a step back and thinking of this process in not just being about me, but also of what will my child who will become an adult think of the actions I took prior to joining our lives together; fundraising becomes a bit murky.
The rollercoaster of emotions from pure exhilaration to worry still rise and fall as the days go by, but I am holding on to a Bible passage that I’m hoping will make those waves of worry smoother. It informs my decisions to save, to conserve, to spend, and to think of tomorrow with greater wisdom and peace.
While I am hesitant in doing any crowd funding, I am open to any feedback as how to make this more of a reality for me while remaining financially secure as I think of the years ahead as a family.
Matthew 6:25-34
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
There are a few avenues to adoption; international and domestic coordinated by either a public, private, or independent consultant/lawyer. There are advantages and unique challenges with each one of these choices and it is a deeply personal decision on which one a family chooses. For me, I chose domestic infant adoption through a private agency. It was important to me that an agency offer extensive support for the birth parents regardless of whether they choose to have an adoption plan, they choose to parent themselves, or seek other options. Support for birth families can be offering prenatal care, assisting with living expenses, counseling, and transportation. For adoptive families support is offering a supportive network of other families, counseling, legal support, and other resources. My ultimate hope was to have an agency that took a holistic approach to seeing a birth and adoptive family through the whole process. I think I have found that in the agency I have chosen, but it does come with a price. And that’s where awareness comes in. Most people, when asked, have a positive association with adoption. But when asked what the barriers are, generally the first barrier to pursuing adoption is financial. Without getting overly specific, a domestic infant adoption can cost between $19,000 - $35,000, essentially the cost of a car. There are some zero-interest loans that are offered, but tend to favor married couples. There are some foundations that offer a crowd-funding platform for raising money for adoption. But after taking a step back and thinking of this process in not just being about me, but also of what will my child who will become an adult think of the actions I took prior to joining our lives together; fundraising becomes a bit murky.
The rollercoaster of emotions from pure exhilaration to worry still rise and fall as the days go by, but I am holding on to a Bible passage that I’m hoping will make those waves of worry smoother. It informs my decisions to save, to conserve, to spend, and to think of tomorrow with greater wisdom and peace.
While I am hesitant in doing any crowd funding, I am open to any feedback as how to make this more of a reality for me while remaining financially secure as I think of the years ahead as a family.
Matthew 6:25-34
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
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