Eager Anticipation, Thoughtful Preparation
Today marks six months since I filled out my first adoption form. Crazy, right? So now that I’m approved, my adoption profile is complete, I am what the adoption community calls a “Hopeful adoptive Parent” or HAP. While on this journey, I’ve seen some beautiful connections formed and areas where I can use this “waiting” time for continued growth.
There’s some practical things I’ve started to do to help prepare me for the lifestyle change. I began using a monthly cleaning service for my home so that I have a reliable company I trust to help me manage my home, especially when my child comes. This was something that I felt would take care of me as I take on more responsibilities. Again, this is purely first world problems. I also began adjusting my budget to the level that I think it will be when I am no longer a foot-loose and fancy free single, but a new single mom and head of household. This means really paying attention to my spending habits, cutting unnecessary services such as cable, taking lunches and cooking planned meals, opting for water instead of paid drinks, and setting aside money each month for what I anticipate child care will likely cost. My hope is to have a year’s worth of child care saved up.
Many are aware of how technology has impacted and improved the level of independence people with disabilities experience as they create and navigate the lives they want for themselves. One such technology is called Aira, a visual interpretive services for the blind. Blind individuals are connected virtually with an Aira agent who can provide verbal information and description for a wide range of things ranging from reading print on the go, describing the layout of a room, or providing description of a play or museum. I felt that while I’ve been incredibly blessed with a really supportive neighbor, I depend on her in ways that weren’t ultimately sustainable. After soliciting some feedback from friends and the Facebook hivemind, I decided that it was worth it to give Aira a try for a year. While I’m only a week into using the service, it has been well worth it.
The agency I selected has an average wait time of about a year. Once a family is selected, the time from match to placement can be within a few days. So the idea of needing to prepare is kind of an understatement. This can be a luxury in that this year can offer me a generous portion of time to get ready, but this same amount of time can also be an emotional burden in that there is no established “due date” for when my child and I will be found and matched. Only God knows that. So with that, I eagerly anticipate and thoughtfully prepare.
Today was a great example of how technology, preparation, and collaboration can be incredibly meaningful for me. I left work this afternoon using Uber to travel towards one of the possible pediatricians I am considering for my child. I was able to ask the driver where the entrance was and conveyed that into directions for my guide dog. After entering the building and meeting the receptionist, I had some extra time to wait for my appointment. I wanted to arrive early in order to observe the interaction between the office staff and parents, children, and each other. There’s so much information you can gain just in listening to the tone, inflection, and reactions of everyone around. I was looking for how they handled a stressed parent on the phone or how children were comforted. But what was especially helpful was the added information I was able to receive from the Aira agent as they described the environment. They provided an objective description of the waiting area, paintings, décor, signage, all of the elements that parents would probably take note when doing their prenatal visit with a practice. I felt like I was on equal footing with any other parent and I could more confidently engage with the doctor. When my appointment time arrived, the doctor greeted me with a firm handshake and a warm presence. Those are intangibles that an Aira agent cannot describe from a video feed 1,000 miles away, but what I can feel in an intentional human interaction. She took time to answer my questions which she’s probably heard in one fashion or another in her nearly 25 year career. She didn’t seemed unsettled by my questions relating to exposures, infant development, and accessibility to records and patient portals because she’s worked with other families who are also blind and use assistive technology. Bottom line, she treated me with dignity, respect, warmth, and optimism for what is ahead of me. I think this is what any individual, patient or client, parent or child, sighted or blind, would want in a partnership that spanning the most critical development stage for children into adolescence.
There’s some practical things I’ve started to do to help prepare me for the lifestyle change. I began using a monthly cleaning service for my home so that I have a reliable company I trust to help me manage my home, especially when my child comes. This was something that I felt would take care of me as I take on more responsibilities. Again, this is purely first world problems. I also began adjusting my budget to the level that I think it will be when I am no longer a foot-loose and fancy free single, but a new single mom and head of household. This means really paying attention to my spending habits, cutting unnecessary services such as cable, taking lunches and cooking planned meals, opting for water instead of paid drinks, and setting aside money each month for what I anticipate child care will likely cost. My hope is to have a year’s worth of child care saved up.
Many are aware of how technology has impacted and improved the level of independence people with disabilities experience as they create and navigate the lives they want for themselves. One such technology is called Aira, a visual interpretive services for the blind. Blind individuals are connected virtually with an Aira agent who can provide verbal information and description for a wide range of things ranging from reading print on the go, describing the layout of a room, or providing description of a play or museum. I felt that while I’ve been incredibly blessed with a really supportive neighbor, I depend on her in ways that weren’t ultimately sustainable. After soliciting some feedback from friends and the Facebook hivemind, I decided that it was worth it to give Aira a try for a year. While I’m only a week into using the service, it has been well worth it.
The agency I selected has an average wait time of about a year. Once a family is selected, the time from match to placement can be within a few days. So the idea of needing to prepare is kind of an understatement. This can be a luxury in that this year can offer me a generous portion of time to get ready, but this same amount of time can also be an emotional burden in that there is no established “due date” for when my child and I will be found and matched. Only God knows that. So with that, I eagerly anticipate and thoughtfully prepare.
Today was a great example of how technology, preparation, and collaboration can be incredibly meaningful for me. I left work this afternoon using Uber to travel towards one of the possible pediatricians I am considering for my child. I was able to ask the driver where the entrance was and conveyed that into directions for my guide dog. After entering the building and meeting the receptionist, I had some extra time to wait for my appointment. I wanted to arrive early in order to observe the interaction between the office staff and parents, children, and each other. There’s so much information you can gain just in listening to the tone, inflection, and reactions of everyone around. I was looking for how they handled a stressed parent on the phone or how children were comforted. But what was especially helpful was the added information I was able to receive from the Aira agent as they described the environment. They provided an objective description of the waiting area, paintings, décor, signage, all of the elements that parents would probably take note when doing their prenatal visit with a practice. I felt like I was on equal footing with any other parent and I could more confidently engage with the doctor. When my appointment time arrived, the doctor greeted me with a firm handshake and a warm presence. Those are intangibles that an Aira agent cannot describe from a video feed 1,000 miles away, but what I can feel in an intentional human interaction. She took time to answer my questions which she’s probably heard in one fashion or another in her nearly 25 year career. She didn’t seemed unsettled by my questions relating to exposures, infant development, and accessibility to records and patient portals because she’s worked with other families who are also blind and use assistive technology. Bottom line, she treated me with dignity, respect, warmth, and optimism for what is ahead of me. I think this is what any individual, patient or client, parent or child, sighted or blind, would want in a partnership that spanning the most critical development stage for children into adolescence.
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