And So the Journey Begins

I had a crazy idea which was originally planted by a friend of mine to actually start writing down the thoughts in my head. Ok, scary thought. But what I would share, would be the thoughts and experiences surrounding my walk with God. Possibly even scarier? At this point, I'm chalking it all up to trying to be as transparent as possible in what one example of person's walk with the Lord is like. I believe that each person's walk with the Lord is unique and beautiful irregardless of how we learn certain lessons along the way; the pretty ones and the not so pretty ones. So while I would like to think much of my learning would come from God's Word coming alive in my head as in Psalms 19 where David is describing God's greatness. But often times, it is how I walk through trials along the way where God is molding and refining my character and being for a closer communion and relationship with Him.

I know and understand that there's a great possibility that this blog will go unread, but there is also an equal possibility that someone may connect with an event, scripture, or lesson that I share on this blog. For that, it is my hope and prayer that the words in my blog are only to glorify God and encourage others to find Him even when he seems so far away.

So here we go.

Over the past few months, I have been struggling to return to the place where God's word was new and vibrant each day. Some churchy terms for it may be something like "walk through the valley," but what ever term you want to use to describe sadness, bitterness, anger, and hopelessness; it aint pretty. I have to think I have experienced those same emotions before, but now that I've been pursuing a relationship with God, I now know what I am losing the further and further I step away from Christ. I know that I lose warmth, gentleness, kindness, perseverance, and only become more isolated from the one that provides an everlasting strength and protection. I am thankful for that realization, as it spurs me on to return to that place I was a few months back.

Last year this time, I started a journey of reading the New Testament. Each day that I read, God provided so many opportunities to see and live out the section of Scripture I was learning at that moment. As negative emotions came into the mix, my journey turned into an obligation to gaining information instead of a quest for true eternal knowledge.

Recently, I was on a flight from California for work when I decided I would pick up that journey through the New Testament and on that flight, I began with 1 Peter. I am not sure how these things happen, but as I read, 1 Peter 2:1-3 stopped everything, except for the plane! Here is what it says:

¹ Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. ² Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, ³ now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.

Emotionally, I was crushed. I knew that my heart was filled with so much anger, hurt emotions, and confusion. And on the first day of picking up God's Word, I find this! I never before understood how quickly God's truth could bring you to a place of humbleness. At that moment, I knew. I feel bad for the gentleman sitting next to me, because I started crying; not to the point of whaling, but certainly if was obvious that I was showing outward emotions to something that wasn't visibly obvious to any onlooker. All I could ask for in that moment was for God to teach me and help me walk out of that place, "the valley," "the desert," the place where my heart and spirit longed to be back with Him.

There are times when there are songs that clearly articulate what is stirring within your heart. At that moment, that song for me was "The Only Thing" by Ronnie Freeman. It was my anthem, because while there may be this outward image of a godly woman, well so I hoped, inside the only thing that felt good was Jesus.

So a few weeks has passed since then and the second verse that has been sitting and marinating in my heart has been 2 Peter 1:3-9 which says this.

³ His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. ⁴ Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

⁵ For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶ and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷ and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. ⁸ For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.

So there we go. The question that resonates in my heart is "Have I forgotten?" Forgotten what? God's promises. God's Love. God's mercy. And most importantly God's greatness in having a surpassing knowledge of every event that happens in my life.

And so the journey begins with journey taking a bend to the right to find out what is God's promises for my life. I think that journey will lead me back to John and Romans, so we'll see.