Conflict Resolution - God's Style

Wow, we've made it up to two posts. Watch Out Now! Ok, on all seriousness, I was so excited about possibly sharing the cool sweet thoughts about why I have recently found waking up and doing quiet time was such a beautiful thing especially how 1 John 1:5 came to life for me while on a walk at 6:30 a.m. as the sun was coming up and how I observed God's handiwork being covered in pure golden light. Or how a funny thought entered into my head of how I wonder if the people we see on the streets who talk to themselves are just merely having verbal outward conversations with God and how that thought led into whether people ever thought of me as one of those types of people when I may have been praying. Though I'm sure there are probably a good number of indicators of how crazy I may be, but that will certainly be another post, on another day and, so I digress.

But a clear distinct thought in my head came up while washing dishes that same morning. That thought centered around the idea of how as Christians, me mostly as a passive aggressive type of lady, handles conflict. Especially conflict that results in deep seated hurt emotions. A significant portion of my professional life is managing and resolving conflict at the lowest level. So at some level, when conflict occurs in my own personal life, I am somewhat prideful in feeling that I am well equipped to deal with it. Or so I thought. But what if how I have been handling conflict and on a broader perspective hurt when it stems from interactions with people in my personal life, is not God focused? I think much of my passive aggressive approaches to dealing with my emotions surrounding conflict is essentially to let that person know that "they" hurt me and so in return wanting them to feel that same level of hurt emotions I had experienced from their actions.

But the thought that was dropped in my head while smelling the lavender soapy dishwater, was why would I desire to go to a person and engage in something that is inherently sinful based on how I approached it with passive aggression? If I harbored negative emotions towards a fellow sister or brother in Christ, what good does that do when desiring reconciliation when God isn't leading out in it? It sets up any possible conversation, dialogue, or interaction for failure.

So why not go to God with that hurt emotion, instead of another human who also has faults and failings? Yeah yeah, simple Christian concept. But in the mix of tears, anger, and malice, it's quite easy to forget to apply the simple Christian concepts. So it probably means I need to write that piece of knowledge on a waterproof sticky note and put it in the kitchen sink of that's where God is providing his teaching!

But in all seriousness, is God's approach for dealing, managing, and resolving conflict rooted in coming to Him as the ultimate Counselor, but also asking for forgiveness WITHOUT expecting anything in return.

And true God fashion after reading 1 John 1:8-9, I was presented with a situation where a seed of jealousy towards a friend about something that was meaningless, needed to be dealt with in the manner that God had taught me that very morning. I needed to go to Him with it first, ask for forgiveness from Him, and then actually go to her and apologize without expecting ANYTHING in return. Here's what 1 John 1:8-9 says:

⁸ If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. ⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

So lesson for today? Wake up early to meet with God, enjoy the sunrise, confess hurt and sin to God FIRST, expect nothing in return from an apology, and wash the dishes!

Later