A deeper level
Just wanted to take a moment to breathe and share what’s been happening over the past few weeks. The agency that I am working with has an online portal where most of the adoption documentation is accessed, transferred, and stored. Through this method, I’m able to quickly navigate to the files I need, pick up where I left off, and communicate with staff. I can only imagine what this process would be like only 5 or 10 years ago when electronic information systems weren’t as nimble or adaptive to the user. I’m imagining binders full of forms, documents, articles, any form of paper where you describe your life’s history in bullets, statements, or yes/no answers. Back then, I’m sure the mileage to the local post office was racked up on a weekly basis.
My goal oriented brain has pushed me to work on a form each night which takes about an hour. While the system can be easily accessed over the net, it is a bit challenging to navigate with speech. So each form takes a little longer than what I anticipate it taking for those not using assistive technology.
Once my initial application was approved, I entered into the home study phase. This phase includes obtaining clearances from the FBI, TB testing, family physician clearance, county fire and home inspection, and others. I had to provide documentation such as birth records, financial asset/liability calculations, health insurance verification for not only me but for a potential child, and even the dimensions of my home and the room I will use for the child. And finally, I begin my work with a licensed social worker who has been assigned to me as I navigate this process. I’m required to have three scheduled visits with her to discuss various aspects of adoption.
I was jokingly being sarcastic in saying that if everyone who wanted to simply engage in sex were required to provide all of the documentation needed in this phase of the adoption, nearly half of the newborn population would be drastically cut. I’m sort of ambivalent to this reality in that I’m glad that this hurdle requires intentionality to those who want a child. But sad that this can also be an exhaustive hurdle for those who may not have access to the resources they need to complete this phase, but who may still be suitable families for children in need.
During the home study phase, I am required to complete nearly 10 hours of parenting classes before placement with a child. There are additional hours of training after placement.
Thankfully, it’s been a slow period at work and I was able to sign up for one of the classes this week. It was a breath of fresh “inclusive” air that with a simple email to the coordinator, I was able to receive course information and request accommodations for the class. Even better was that they only had 24 hours’ notice. I wouldn’t have expected this, but it was an indicator to me that their staff must have had some kind of exposure to working with individuals with disabilities. Even after getting to the course, the instructor was very welcoming and asked what I needed and waited for my queue on what was helpful for me. No hovering. No patronizing attitude. Just seeing me as one of the potential adoptive parents.
The real sobering part of this phase is identifying individuals who will serve as guardians in case of emergency, power of attorney, identifying a will & testament, and other items that don’t usually cross your mind on a Friday. But it is a real reminder that this process is much deeper than what I went through to apply for my guide dog or for the kitten at the local pet store. This is a life that I will be responsible for in life and in loss.
I feel that I’m at a little of a loss for witty sarcasm because of the weightiness of what this process has dished out to me. Thankfully, I am surrounded by a community of individuals who have gone through adoption themselves and are at the other end of the adoption journey.
My goal oriented brain has pushed me to work on a form each night which takes about an hour. While the system can be easily accessed over the net, it is a bit challenging to navigate with speech. So each form takes a little longer than what I anticipate it taking for those not using assistive technology.
Once my initial application was approved, I entered into the home study phase. This phase includes obtaining clearances from the FBI, TB testing, family physician clearance, county fire and home inspection, and others. I had to provide documentation such as birth records, financial asset/liability calculations, health insurance verification for not only me but for a potential child, and even the dimensions of my home and the room I will use for the child. And finally, I begin my work with a licensed social worker who has been assigned to me as I navigate this process. I’m required to have three scheduled visits with her to discuss various aspects of adoption.
I was jokingly being sarcastic in saying that if everyone who wanted to simply engage in sex were required to provide all of the documentation needed in this phase of the adoption, nearly half of the newborn population would be drastically cut. I’m sort of ambivalent to this reality in that I’m glad that this hurdle requires intentionality to those who want a child. But sad that this can also be an exhaustive hurdle for those who may not have access to the resources they need to complete this phase, but who may still be suitable families for children in need.
During the home study phase, I am required to complete nearly 10 hours of parenting classes before placement with a child. There are additional hours of training after placement.
Thankfully, it’s been a slow period at work and I was able to sign up for one of the classes this week. It was a breath of fresh “inclusive” air that with a simple email to the coordinator, I was able to receive course information and request accommodations for the class. Even better was that they only had 24 hours’ notice. I wouldn’t have expected this, but it was an indicator to me that their staff must have had some kind of exposure to working with individuals with disabilities. Even after getting to the course, the instructor was very welcoming and asked what I needed and waited for my queue on what was helpful for me. No hovering. No patronizing attitude. Just seeing me as one of the potential adoptive parents.
The real sobering part of this phase is identifying individuals who will serve as guardians in case of emergency, power of attorney, identifying a will & testament, and other items that don’t usually cross your mind on a Friday. But it is a real reminder that this process is much deeper than what I went through to apply for my guide dog or for the kitten at the local pet store. This is a life that I will be responsible for in life and in loss.
I feel that I’m at a little of a loss for witty sarcasm because of the weightiness of what this process has dished out to me. Thankfully, I am surrounded by a community of individuals who have gone through adoption themselves and are at the other end of the adoption journey.
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