A Sigh of Relief
I think I should come up with better titles for these posts so they don’t seem so sappy. Sometimes, I have these “aha” moments when I’m like, “I better write that down.” But then others will be just fleeting thoughts.
Since Waiting to Exhale has already been taken and it’s a totally different context, a sigh of relief is what it is.
My first home study visit was on Thursday evening went well as much as divulging your life’s history, story, and secrets to a total stranger can go. Thanks to my neighbor who stopped by before the social worker came over just to make sure everything was orderly, even though my emotions weren’t all that orderly. I wore what I had on from work which was a dress. Lately, since I’ve been exercising more, dresses are becoming the norm. I think subconsciously I was trying to channel all of the good vibes from Claire Huxtable, Vivian from Fresh Prince, Mrs. Brady, and other motherly television characters from my childhood. But as most of you have said, just be me.
My social worker was very nice and professional, took time to describe the adoption and home study process, and addressed my questions in a helpful manner. For this particular visit, it lasted 2.5 hours. I was exhausted!
Thankfully, I had signed up for a sound and silence retreat right after and it was perfectly timed.
Basically we talked through my family history, my views on adoption, past relationships, walked through my comfort level of the various racial/ethnic makeup of a potential child. My initial response is that If God sends a child that He intended me to have, I will gladly accept him or her regardless of race. But if I’m matched with a child of a vastly different ethnic background, I want to be able to honor that child’s heritage and culture in a way that’s supportive of their own unique individuality. But I’m sure I will face some awkward questions if let’s say I were to be matched with a child who is white. It’s not the way in which I would want life to treat us. But the child and I will have to navigate together our own journey into how we were matched and joined together as a family. And of course, people will ask. Above all is, it is love and faith that I believe will be the ultimate deciding factor in the child I’ll be matched with.
One thing that I was kind of proud of is that my friends and family represent so many shades and hues of brown from India, Japan, Philippines, Korea, Nigeria, and so on. I’ve always imagined that if I had a wedding, it would be like a gathering of the United Nations delegation which I hope would be reflection of the diverse nature of our friends and family.
She also shared that some hopeful adoptive families utilize multiple adoption agencies. I hadn’t really considered using an additional agency because of the positive experience I’ve had thus far, but it did place a seed that maybe I would like the possibility of being match with a child from Arkansas which of course is my home state. So if any one has any recommendations, I’m all ears.
During the visit she noted that I needed to resubmit my health form because some questions weren’t fully answered by my physician and that I would need to provide a release of information. Of course, I felt a little anxious about that. But it’s nothing I have much control over besides being informed about what each step may possibly bring.
During the retreat, which was an escape from the craziness happening over the past few weeks, I jokingly called the period before a child is placed as my version of a rumspringa. I’m still figuring out what that could look like, so any suggestions are welcomed.
Until next time!
Since Waiting to Exhale has already been taken and it’s a totally different context, a sigh of relief is what it is.
My first home study visit was on Thursday evening went well as much as divulging your life’s history, story, and secrets to a total stranger can go. Thanks to my neighbor who stopped by before the social worker came over just to make sure everything was orderly, even though my emotions weren’t all that orderly. I wore what I had on from work which was a dress. Lately, since I’ve been exercising more, dresses are becoming the norm. I think subconsciously I was trying to channel all of the good vibes from Claire Huxtable, Vivian from Fresh Prince, Mrs. Brady, and other motherly television characters from my childhood. But as most of you have said, just be me.
My social worker was very nice and professional, took time to describe the adoption and home study process, and addressed my questions in a helpful manner. For this particular visit, it lasted 2.5 hours. I was exhausted!
Thankfully, I had signed up for a sound and silence retreat right after and it was perfectly timed.
Basically we talked through my family history, my views on adoption, past relationships, walked through my comfort level of the various racial/ethnic makeup of a potential child. My initial response is that If God sends a child that He intended me to have, I will gladly accept him or her regardless of race. But if I’m matched with a child of a vastly different ethnic background, I want to be able to honor that child’s heritage and culture in a way that’s supportive of their own unique individuality. But I’m sure I will face some awkward questions if let’s say I were to be matched with a child who is white. It’s not the way in which I would want life to treat us. But the child and I will have to navigate together our own journey into how we were matched and joined together as a family. And of course, people will ask. Above all is, it is love and faith that I believe will be the ultimate deciding factor in the child I’ll be matched with.
One thing that I was kind of proud of is that my friends and family represent so many shades and hues of brown from India, Japan, Philippines, Korea, Nigeria, and so on. I’ve always imagined that if I had a wedding, it would be like a gathering of the United Nations delegation which I hope would be reflection of the diverse nature of our friends and family.
She also shared that some hopeful adoptive families utilize multiple adoption agencies. I hadn’t really considered using an additional agency because of the positive experience I’ve had thus far, but it did place a seed that maybe I would like the possibility of being match with a child from Arkansas which of course is my home state. So if any one has any recommendations, I’m all ears.
During the visit she noted that I needed to resubmit my health form because some questions weren’t fully answered by my physician and that I would need to provide a release of information. Of course, I felt a little anxious about that. But it’s nothing I have much control over besides being informed about what each step may possibly bring.
During the retreat, which was an escape from the craziness happening over the past few weeks, I jokingly called the period before a child is placed as my version of a rumspringa. I’m still figuring out what that could look like, so any suggestions are welcomed.
Until next time!
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